“One of the things for which we should give thanks every day, according to the Buddha, is the company of the holy. Just as bees cannot make honey unless together, human beings cannot make progress on the Way unless they are supported by a field of confidence and concern that Truth-winners generate.”
excerpted from Buddhism, by Huston Smith and Philip Novak

Almost all spiritual traditions acknowledge the importance and value of community — fellow seekers following the same teachings that can be a great source of support and inspiration. In the Yoga and Buddhist traditions, this kind of community is called sangha and is seen as an essential element of spiritual growth. Along with the benefits we receive, it is also the responsibility of each of us to contribute what we can, to be a source of kindness and compassion for the others. In the spirit of this understanding, we chose to practice spiritual friendship for the month of February.

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali give friendliness as one of the key ways to keep the mind at peace when interacting with happy people. This may seem simple and easy, but real friendship can be much more than a casual smile and greeting. It implies approaching others with an open and compassionate heart, and a willingness to listen deeply and understand them. Spiritual friendship is expressed by appreciating their strengths and virtues, ignoring their quirks, and forgiving their mistakes.

A challenging aspect of being a true friend arises when we observe behavior that is unhealthy or selfish, and can see that someone would benefit from feedback. This intention guides us to offer such criticism with care and mindfulness. It means finding the right time to speak to someone, expressing our feelings and observations without judgement or conjecture, and being willing to hear their point of view.

Such conversations can be difficult, but if our words are backed by humility and sincerity, we can grow closer with someone as we share the challenges of spiritual growth. By the same token, it behooves us to be open to having our own flaws pointed out, and when we do so, we create deeper relationships built on trust and respect.

One obstacle to friendliness towards fellow aspirants is envy. It is easy to be jealous of another’s success or virtue, especially if it reminds us of our own failures or unfulfilled desires. We may find our efforts to appreciate them tinged with resentment or be tempted to dwell on some weakness we see in them. There’s no benefit to such comparisons and we can instead practice being inspired by their accomplishments.

In a world full of me-first messages and sensory overload, spiritual relationships bring us back into our hearts, where we can feel our natural connection to each other and the whole web of life. By caring and sharing with others, we experience the fulfillment of serving, the uplifting presence of others walking the path alongside us, and are buoyed by being a part of something much bigger than ourselves.

-Swami Ramananda