by Swami Vimalananda
As we begin our journey of spiritual discovery, we typically rely on the words of spiritual authorities and teachers. It starts with the intellectual gathering of information. It seems to be quite usual to investigate many different schools of thought and slowly come to conclusions that feel comfortable and logical for the seeker. Leslie D. Weatherhead, in The Christian Agnostic, states, “the seeker accepts some of the beliefs system but feels skeptical of others”.
It’s true that the teachings offer a road map to self-discovery and point out the obstacles on the path to inner peace and happiness. It is also a very safe position, as is often stated, to be committed to the teachings with no need for a commitment or loyalty to a teacher. There are clear reasons for this, due to a long history of fanaticism and the dire consequences of the “true believer”. When I was just beginning to become involved with Integral Yoga, Jonestown happened. Jim Jones persuaded his followers to drink a poisoned kool-aid that killed them en masse. It definitely had an impact on my search and I became even more cautious.
It was around that time that I read two books, The True Believer by Eric Hoffer and Erich Fromm’s, Escape From Freedom. Each of those authors felt that the true believer seeks to give up their personal freedom and not be responsible for themselves. Thus, they become vulnerable to someone who tells them “don’t worry I will take care of you, just follow me and do as I say”. Too often the follower’s decision-making abilities weaken, and they lose their ability to make decisions even on mundane matters. They become more restricted in their lives and more dependent on the so-called leader.
How does the spiritual path work with a spiritual teacher?
Just as in The Christian Agnostic, slowly the seeker experientially sees that, with practices to calm the mind, an inner solidness, a new groundedness becomes apparent. There is less reliance on the fulfillment of desires to find peace and happiness.
When students questioned whether the Institute was a cult, I would ask them if through the teachings and their experiences they felt calmer, less dependent on the world, and anyone in it, for peace and happiness. Freedom is when you can step back, see the options clearly and then make decisions, no longer clinging to attachments and/or desires. As the Hafiz poem says, “It is what all spiritual seekers crave, the precious treasure of freedom”.
Somewhere along the path, an experience happens. As the Yoga Sutras states “When the student is ready, the Guru comes.” I believe the Guru is not created, the Guru has always been there, but our minds have been so turbulent we haven’t recognized it as such. We all have heard that inner voice of wisdom but usually we just move on and attempt to fulfill our desires. As for me he spoke to me many times and I didn’t listen, I just did what I was going to do.
If the Guru, a spiritual guide, is in his/her body there is a wonderful dilemma. The natural tendency is the desire to follow the guru around because of his/her wonderful vibrations of love and wisdom. The Guru has the responsibility to transform the followers desire to rely on his/her physical presence. It’s his/her duty to teach the follower to rely on their own inner voice of wisdom and love.
Also as Sri Gurudev stated, “It is the duty of the follower to question and test the Guru to make sure that the Guru is not motivated by self-interest.” With this process the follower has the opportunity to learn discriminative discernment. As Hafiz states in one of his poems, The Guru is one who has “…integrity’s great force, and the profound courage to never relinquish love.”
After I took on the duties of the Institute, my husband retired from his job and observed that I was rarely home. He stated that I should be home with him. I phoned Sri Gurudev and told him what my husband said, and his reply was, “Your first duty is to your family, if he wants you there, stay home.” I felt there were multiple lessons for me. It was a quiet time at the Institute, but I realized the Institute is really in Sri Gurudev’s hands, it will exist as long as he feels it is beneficial—it sure put a dent in my ego. I discovered I really wanted to be there and my husband discovered he didn’t know what to do with me when I was home. A few weeks passed and I was back at the Institute.
I also observed that Sri Gurudev was willing to sacrifice how he looked and how the Institute was run for our spiritual growth. He was willing to sacrifice appearances of worldly success, and did not see the Institute as a business.
There seem to be many strategies to free the follower from his or her external form. Many gurus make sure to limit their access, scold the follower for not looking inward for advice and constantly remind the follower that to be independent one needs to cultivate their inner wisdom, inner guru. The last time I saw my Guru, I went up to where he was seated and put on a girlish grin and looked up at him. He rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, then closed them and shook his head, like ‘you still don’t get it?’ I went back to my seat and after feeling hurt I said to myself, “I have been around long enough to know there must be a message here.” The message was that I still wanted to be dependent, wanting his approval and love externally. That was the last time I saw him in his body, and he died two weeks later. It is very important to me to have this as his last message.
When the follower has made a commitment to spiritual growth, the Guru has the responsibility of pointing out the obstacles that prevent the follower from calming the mind, and then the process begins of cleansing the ego. It is sure to be a painful journey, as Sri Gurudev stated, “Ego-dectomies are performed often without anesthesia.”
It is also the responsibility of the Guru to appear internally, in one form or another, to the follower, thus slowly weaning the follower from the externals while presenting the opportunity for the follower to trust and connect more with the internal Guru, or inner voice. In one of the last conversations I had with Sri Gurudev, I asked him, “How do I know if I am running the institute correctly?” He replied, “Use your common sense and if you still have doubt, call on me.” It was clear he meant that the answer was with the inner voice.
There comes a time when, in order to be free from the desirous world and live in the “True Self,” there must be an inner guide. I feel a profound change occurs with trial and error, and we realize that the inner guide does present us with the optimal choice. As we quiet the chatter of the mind, that inner guiding voice becomes more audible. When we take a chance, we begin to develop faith and trust in the knowing that not only is it the best for ourselves but also for everyone. At that point, our decisions can be made on correctness and not on desires and attachments. We slowly give up our egoistic will and rely completely on that inner voice. As we listen to the inner voice, the feeling of being separate is surrendered and the delusion of feeling that we are by ourselves, alone in the world disappears. This is when there is no separation between the teachings and the teacher.
Yes, we need commitment, trust, and faith—and there are many tests along the path. Just as Peter betrayed Jesus three times before the cock crowed, we must also go through the shakiness of doubt. There will come a time to, as Hafiz says, “Come join the courageous that have no choice”.
A great benefit of listening to this inner teacher, is a sweet intimate, caring relationship, a constant unconditional love that is impossible in the world with its conflicting desires. We become free from the entanglements and imprisonment of our desirous mind and abide in the wondrous, loving, peaceful self.
The Diamond Takes Shape
By Hafiz
Some parrots
Have become so skilled with
The human voice
They could give a brilliant discourse
About freedom and God
And an unsighted man nearby might
Even begin applauding with
The thought:
I just heard jewels fall from a
Great saint’s mouth,
Though my Master used to say,
“The diamond takes shape slowly
With integrity’s great force,
And from
The profound courage to never relinquish love.”
Some parrots have become so skilled
With words,
The blind turn over their gold
And lives to caged
Feathers.
Swami Vimalananda, RYT500, is an Integral Yoga sannyasi – monk. She has been involved with Integral Yoga since 1971 and Director of the San Francisco Integral Yoga Institute from 1992-2011. She specializes in teaching yoga philosophy and spiritual counseling.